Looking After The Future

I credit LSD for saving my life. At age 17, I began a 17 year run of cluster headaches which are related to migraines. Clusters happen fast and hard and they are the only time I have experienced 10’s on the pain scale.
The only medicine that would help was Sansert, which was developed by Sandoz, the chemical pharmaceutical company from Switzerland. My doctor would not prescribe it for me due to a certain side effect which was the growth of fibroids in your internal organs.
I did my homework and kept on begging my doctor and he steadfastly refused. Although I admired his principles, I went to another doctor and explained my condition. She also refused. I figured my only chance to get the script was to pitch a cluster from beginning to end in her presence. Since I was in the middle of an attack (clusters come and go, for me, it was 10 months on and 2 months off), my best bet was to sit in the waiting room until onset. I could tell one was imminent from about 20 minutes before. I sat in the waiting room for 2 hours + until I could recognize one was coming.
The receptionist knew why I was there so when I walked to the window, she could see the extreme redness and prolific watering of my left eye so she immediately put me in an exam room and fetched the doctor who joined me for a 15 minute attack of significant proportion.
I walked out of there with the prescription a half hour later.
The odds of getting the side effect of fibroids increased if you took the medicine more than 6 months in a row so the plan was 6 months on and 6 months off. When the first 6 months passed I had to stop taking the Sansert and I would get a rebound of clusters that were as bad if not worse than if I had not taken the medicine at all. After experiencing 6 months of no headaches, well, this was horrible.
This story is TL;DR, I know.
It occurred to me immediately after a particularly bad headache to do a little more homework and stumbled upon the relationship of Sansert and LSD, made convenient due to the fact Sandoz made both.
I had only begun experimenting with pot at this time but because of the severe pain, it was worth the risk of trying LSD to see if I could get any relief. I bought 10 hits of Windowpane acid (drops on paper), cut one in half and did my first trip alone, in my dorm room at college. Yes, I listened to Dark Side of the Moon. With headphones.
In summation, I went headache free for 3 days, thus beginning my relationship with ergot tartrates, LSD, and mushrooms. I could slice the single hit into 4 doses and thusly had my cure for the 6 months I was forbidden to take the Sansert. There is much more to the story but I am tired of typing this on my iPhone.
Yes, I told my doctor what I was doing. Yes, she biatched me out. Yes, I did not care because I was pain free but I was not officially tripping. Yes, she did her homework and at that time she begrudgingly agreed it was okay but who knew what other side effects could arise?
Hallucinogens have many medical uses but we have a government that allows 40,000 deaths a year from alcohol but makes a big deal about pot and acid. Only recently has it been sanctioned for the use of acid to aid in the recovery of PTSD, although it is still illegal.
Many suicides occur due to the intense pain of cluster headaches and speaking frankly, every headache brought me one step closer. And due to the fact I had days where I would pitch 12 – 15 cluster headaches at 20 minutes a clip, a bullet through the temple made a lot of sense.
CSB x a trillion
They say write about something you know.

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